I remember like it was yesterday

Sometimes I can still feel the bandages on my face. He beat me almost to death. Ok, I shouldn't have slashed his tires. But he shouldn't have fucked my so called friend either.

I found out about his little fuck fest with my friend. He even took pictures of her, of her pussy, of his cock inside her and in her mouth.. And tried to deny it when I confronted him. So, I let my anger get the better of me. After all, he was MY MAN and he said he loved me more than he loved himself. I was such a fucking fool to believe him. I mean, He had been married before, and got divorced because he had a child outside of his marriage. That should have told me of the type of man he was. But being the naive, always believing that there is inate good in people, I thought he had changed and had found someone who he felt he could commit to. Boy was I wrong.

We had a nasty fight. I fought back as hard as I could but he was so strong. And he was angry. He was mad. Sometimes, it's like I can taste the blood and flesh in my mouth from the pounding he gave to my face. I think he wanted to disfigure me. I got a few kicks too, not in my face but all over my body. I don't know how come he didn't knock me unconscious. I guess it was God looking out for me.

When I was in the hospital, they asked me if I wanted a counsellor to come and talk to me. I said sure but I didn't know what good it would do. I was already making excuses for him, just like the victim. I spoke to the counsellor twice while I was in the hospital. I should have gone back to see her but I never went back. I just didn't want to relive the whole experience. Then I would have to talk, tell her about my childhood, the abuses I suffered, the rape I was a victim of. I just couldn't to that.

So, I continued. But, I walked away from him. It was hard but easy, it was bitter but sweet, it was sad but happy and I was chicken, but I was brave. That decision saved my life I'm sure because after what happened, I'm pretty sure I would have let him kill me.